You can't buy alcohol in Pennsylvania grocery stores.

At work today, someone wrote a story about how one of the big grocery stores in town is opening a 'beer cafe.' I was reading the Facebook comments on this story, not really understanding what a beer cafe is or why it was significant, and someone said something about how they wish they could just go into a convenience store and pick up a case of beer.

My first thought was, what kind of convenience store doesn't sell alcohol?!

Well, apparently Pennsylvania is one of 18 states that is a alcoholic beverage control state. That means the state government owns and sells all alcohol throughout the whole state out of a store called Wine and Spirits. Where I am, the hours are 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. (except Sundays), so there is no waltzing into Walmart at midnight when you need some beer.

According to Wikipedia, this crazy law stems from the repeal of prohibition all the way back in 1933. Some states continued their own prohibition, other states created the government monopolies where the state controls all sales, and the sane states started the private license system where you can buy your groceries and alcohol in the same place.

I went into one of these Wine and Spirit stores, and since alcohol is the only thing it sells, it contained a very wide selection of all sorts of drinks. The prices looked normal to me, too. I just find it very annoying (and weird and backwards) that I can't just buy a bottle of wine while I'm at the grocery store.

And I miss my favorite $6.99 bottle of cheap, delicious Missouri wine.

I can buy whatever I want in the grocery store.

Long ago, when I was young (so maybe not that long ago), I used to go to the grocery store with my mom every week. I'd always ask if we could get some sort of candy, chocolate, or anything else unhealthy and the answer was always no. It was so disappointing and my mom was so mean and obviously not looking out for my best interest.

But what I learned as a kid has now followed me into adulthood. When I go grocery shopping I'll walk past chocolate, candy, cookies and all sorts of delicious things and think to myself, "No, I can't buy that."

Well, now that it's Easter time the Cadbury eggs are out. Cadbury eggs are the best and they put them in a special display in the front of the store so you walk past it every time you are going to check out. Plus they are always on 'sale' so it looks like a great deal every time.

The first day the Cadbury eggs were out, I walked past and thought, "Cadbury eggs!!! I want them! No, I can't..." but then it occurred to me that I'm an adult and I can buy whatever I want and no one can stop me or tell me no.

So I bought a whole bunch and continued to buy them every time I went to the store. They were great and worth every penny!

Keep food from drying out by reheating with a wet paper towel.

Not being responsible for feeding other people is awesome because I can make dinner at the beginning of the week and then it lasts me for that whole entire week. 45 minutes spent cooking on Monday means for the rest of the week I can eat my dinner after I microwave it for just two minutes!

This week, I made some delicious BBQ biscuits. They're so good (biscuit+beef+secret sauce+cheese), but after they are refrigerated for a day the biscuit part loses all moisture.

These BBQ biscuits used to be one of about four things that I ever cooked, but I have since broadened my horizons and started cooking all the things on my Pinterest recipes board. Since I used to make them all the time, it turned into a pretty huge problem that I was frequently eating super dry biscuits for days in a row. It was also pretty gross and sad, because these biscuits are normally so good. I put my thinking cap on and came up with a solution!

Just soak a paper towel in water, cover the food and voilà! It comes out of the microwave like it's fresh out of the oven.

Water does not always put out fire.

My household has a mess problem, especially when it comes to the kitchen. Our drip pans always have weird stuff in them, whether it's crumbs or spillage or anything else. They had gotten bad enough that we were sort of talking about replacing them, but no one really wanted to (including me).

Well, one morning (afternoon, technically) I stood in the kitchen and began to prepare myself a breakfast taco. I put my delicious turkey bacon in the pan and turned on the stove. It normally smokes a little bit as the pan gets hot, but this time it started smoking way more than normal. I was a few steps away preparing the egg when I noticed there might be a slight problem.

And then, BOOM. FIRE.

Everything that happened next is sort of a blur, but I remember the fire alarm went off, I started screaming and freaking out and then my roommates began freaking out with me. The poor dog was very scared. I needed to stop the fire before the whole apartment burned down, so I grabbed a nearby cup, filled it with water and dumped it on the fire.

No. Everything I have ever learned about water being the opposite of fire was wrong. Apparently, water actually makes fire worse (or grease fires, anyway). Why did it take 21 years for me to learn this?

My roommate saved the day after she got a washcloth wet and then tossed it over the fire, causing it to go out. I did know that fire can't exist without oxygen, so I'm glad that piece of information is still true. The whole incident lasted approximately 20 seconds and nothing was damaged. Not even my bacon!

We have since replaced the drip pans.

Peppermint aids in digestion.

The best thing about going to my parents house is that they always have chocolate, candy and cookies. I don't have the time, money or self control to keep these luxury goods stocked in my own apartment, so it's a super bonus for the few times a year when I visit my parents.

My brother recently graduated from college and got a real person job, and his job gave him some peppermint bark for the holidays. The extra delicious, homemade peppermint bark, not just the generic kind you buy in the grocery store. He brought this wonderful gift home with him to share with his whole family, so this visit home had an extra, extra bonus!

The routine is usually eat dinner and then sit on the couch and watch TV until it's time for bed. Around 8 p.m. my dad will usually get up and grab some candy in the kitchen for everyone else. That's exactly what happened on this particular evening. My dad got up around 8 and asked if anyone wanted some peppermint bark, and my mom responded (something along the lines of), sure, we can all boost our digestion. I didn't know this was a thing, so I was like, what? And she responds back to me, "Yeah, that's why restaurants give out mints."

My whole entire life I thought restaurants gave out mints just to freshen your breath.

Nope, it's because it helps your digestive system! Perfect for right after you eat a big meal. It also has all these other health benefits that I didn't know about either, like treating headaches, skin irritations and anxiety.

Black pepper is not found in the produce aisle.

It was my turn to make family dinner for my roommates, so I decided I would go all out and make my mom's super secret, award-winning Cincinnati chili recipe.

A quick side note about Cincinnati chili for those who have never had it before: It's unlike any chili you've ever eaten. There are no beans in it and you eat it on noodles. When I announced to my roommates I would be making chili, the response was along the lines of, 'I don't like chili.' Except everyone loved it.

Anyway, this was the first time I'd ever made this chili and I'd never watched my mom make it so all I really had was the recipe to follow. And my phone to call my mom. I'm at the grocery store buying all the ingredients, which include ground beef, red pepper, black pepper and a bunch of spices. Using my superior grocery store knowledge, I walk into the produce section and find myself a red pepper. Then I start looking everywhere for a black pepper.

I have this fear of asking stupid questions in the grocery store (completely justifiable, too), so after getting all the other ingredients and still missing this black pepper, I call up my mom. I tell her I found a red pepper, but WHERE are the black peppers?? She just laughs at me and explains that black pepper is a spice (like, the pepper that's in a pepper shaker) and that the red pepper is also a spice, so put that bell pepper back.

Whooooooops! So I put the bell pepper back, grab the right peppers and go home and make the chili. Which turned out delicious. Then, months later, as I'm visiting home for the holidays, my mom brings up this whole situation again. I try to defend myself with a, "how was I supposed to know?!" My mom's argument is that she has failed as a mother because I never watched her cook or went to the store with her to know that black pepper is a spice.

Then she started saying something about a Home Ec class or something... sorry mom, too busy taking math and science classes for that!

Pouring an entire bottle of mint extract in something will make it taste like toothpaste.

My roommate and I decided to have a baking night one night, so I turned to Pinterest to find a delicious recipe. One of the very first pins on my feed was for these chocolate peppermint patty cupcakes. YUM. So I made them.

The recipe was simple and pretty easy to follow, and I would recommend it! The cupcake part was super easy, but where I ran into problems was when I had to make the icing.

The recipe said to just use Cool Whip for icing and mix in a little bit of mint extract to make it taste minty and a little bit of green food coloring to make it look minty. I did that and I thought it needed to be more green, so I reached for the green food coloring to add more in.

Turns out I actually grabbed the bottle of mint extract and poured nearly the entire thing into the icing mix. The bottles are very similar in that they are both small, have green on them, and have the same twisty top. Easy mistake to make, really.

The icing ended up tasting like toothpaste and whole kitchen smelled like mint. I still put it on the cupcakes, though, because it was really pretty. The actual cupcake part turned out great, so you just have to scrape off all of the icing before you eat it. My current theory, though, is if you do eat the icing it's actually good for your teeth, since it tastes like toothpaste.

Cookie cutters work better when sprayed with nonstick spray.

One day I was on Pinterest just wasting some time when I stumbled across this pin for hot pink chocolate chip cookies. Hot pink! It's basically just chocolate chip cookies with food coloring added to the cookie dough. Genius! How have I never thought of this before?! I decided to try out the recipe, except one up it and make my cookies orange.

The recipe from the original website was excellent! What it doesn't say, though, is that this is for a serving of about 50 regular sized cookies. Also it doesn't tell you how long to bake for, so for those of you who are like me and aren't super cooking experts, try approximately 16 minutes at 375 degrees (definitely burnt my first batch, oops).

As if orange cookies aren't already magical enough, I decided to add to the magic with this really cool cookie cutter I bought on Amazon. I was online shopping shortly after Christmas, spending my Christmas money, and I was going to buy a bunch of really cool stuff, like a Lazy Susan for the kitchen, an orange case and keyboard cover for my laptop, an orange case for my phone, and screen protector for my phone (long overdue). While I was at it, I decided to just throw in a unicorn cookie cutter.

It was probably one of the best purchases I've ever made. My cookies became orange unicorns and 100% magical. The only problem was the horn (corn?), legs and tail of this cookie cutter were pretty small and the cookie dough kept getting stuck and making deformed unicorns. I busted out the nonstick cooking spray and the problem was solved!

Unfortunately, all the unicorns got really fat in the oven and in the end I made 40 delicious, orange unicorns (that resembled rhinoceroses).

You can have a free meal (nearly) every day in college.

I was enjoying a free lunch one afternoon with my friend when she said to me, "You know, I bet you could get a free meal every day if you really paid attention to all the events on campus." And I was like, "You're probably right." So here it goes:


Monday April 16:
- Business Week Picnic - Free lunch on Carnahan Quad from 11:30 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Tuesday April 17:
- No free food?!

Wednesday April 18:
- Mizzou Student Veteran Association and Department of Student Life's Operation Free Lunch - Hot dogs, burgers, chips and beverages on Lowry Mall from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m.
- Mizzou Triple A had free Asian food in The Shack at 7 p.m, followed by a free concert by Tim Be Told.

Thursday April 19:
- Today, we starve.

Friday April 20:
- I couldn't find an event, but it's Friday night... find someone to buy you dinner!

Monday April 23:
- China Open 2012 Info Session - from 5 p.m. - 5:50 p.m. in Gannet 85. There's free pizza!
- 2012 Black Arts Festival - Artist Reception with Essex Gardner at 5:30 p.m. in the BCC. Free refreshments!

Tuesday April 24:
- Sustain Mizzou is hosting Energy Speed Dating on Lowry Mall as part of Sustainability Week. It's from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. and you get a free scoop of ice cream!
- MSA's annual Safety Walk - Starts at 7 p.m. and there is free food afterwards.
- 2012 Black Arts Festival - Black Cinema Movie Night at 7 p.m. in the BCC. Free refreshments!

Wednesday April 25:
- Total Cereal is sponsoring a free breakfast at Flat Branch Park from 6 a.m. - 10 a.m. because Columbia was chosen as America's hardest working town!
- True Tiger membership renewal lunch - Free pizza! From 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. in Speaker's Circle and the Student Center.
- Journalism Week Franks with the Faculty - Free hot dog lunch on the J-School lawn from 11 a.m. - 1 p.m.
- 2012 Black Arts Festival - The Transformative Possibilities of Black Poetry at 7 p.m. in the BCC. Free refreshments!

Thursday April 26:
- Grand Songkarn Festival - Thai food and other Thai stuff on Carnahan Quad from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m.
- Mizzou Mile - You have to pay $10 to run, but I don't know if you have to register to enjoy the free food and music in Tiger Plaza!
- 2012 Black Arts Festival - Evolution of Hip Hop at 7:00 in the BCC. Free refreshments!

Friday April 27:
- 2012 Black Arts Festival - Life Music Series at 7 p.m. in The Shack with free food!
- Mizzou After Dark's Retro Prom night - Always free for students, always includes food! Starts at 8 pm. in Memorial Union.

Monday April 30:
- It's almost the end of the semester, so find someone with a meal plan who needs to use up their swipes!

Tuesday May 1:
- Today, we starve.

Wednesday May 2:
- End-of-Year Student Life Appreciation Lunch from 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. in the Student Center. Unfortunately for most people, this event is invite only.

Thursday May 3:
- Senior Send Off - Free food and beverages (with a driver's license). From 4 p.m. - 6 p.m. on Carnahan Quad. You have have to actually be a senior to get the free stuff, though.
- Spring Farewell - End of the semester celebration on Rollins Street from 7 p.m. - 11 p.m. So much free stuff!


9/14... not bad.

Cookie sheets double as lids.

When it comes to cooking, my general philosophy is if it takes longer than five minutes to make, it's just really not worth it. I'd be completely content just living off of frozen dinners for the rest of my life, since they take a maximum of six minutes to cook and they're pretty healthy. But they get kind of pricey when you buy a bunch of them and I'm on a fixed income when it comes to groceries.

So, I'm forced to actually cook real food some of the time. I just cycle through the same recipes; BBQ biscuits (recipe courtesy of my mother), pasta, breakfast tacos and Hamburger Helper. That's about it. As I have pointed out before, I lack a lot of things normal people keep in their houses. As you will soon find out, I will go to extreme lengths to avoid buying these things.

To make Hamburger Helper, you mix all the stuff together in a pot and boil it, and once it's boiling you turn down the heat and cover it. Only one of my pots, which actually belongs to my roommate, has a lid. The pot is too small to hold the Hamburger Helper, so I always use my frying pan, which is the perfect size. Every single time (about once a month) I make Hamburger Helper I'm faced with the challenge of finding something to cover the pan with. I've tried using bowls, but they're all too small. I've tried using two bowls, but that leaves gaps that let out a lot of heat. My trial-and-error method has paid off, because I've found the perfect solution.

Cookie sheets. They are large enough to cover the whole pan and don't leave open gaps for heat to escape. They do take up a little more space than necessary, but it saves me approximately $10 and a trip to the store, so it's worth it.

The best thing about Hamburger Helper is that it's supposed to be for families, so the leftovers last me three or four days and it only takes about three minutes to heat up!

Breakfast tacos are a Texas thing.

I stumbled upon this fact while chatting with a friend from Missouri one day. The conversation went something like this:

Me: I'm so hungry. I want a honey butter chicken biscuit. (From Whataburger, which is definitely a Texas thing, and arguably the most delicious meal ever.)
Me (being more realistic now): No, actually I want a breakfast taco.
Friend: What's that?
Me (this is actually what my face looked like):

Then the next day I was chatting with a different friend, also from Missouri. That conversation went something like this:
Me: Did you know our friend doesn't know what a breakfast taco is?!
Friend: What's a breakfast taco?

Me (again):

This is about when I started to realize that either breakfast tacos are a Texas thing or just not a Missouri thing. So I went into journalist mode and verified my facts with a friend from Illinois. This conversation went something like this:

Me: So... do you know what a breakfast taco is?

Friend: Um, no?

Unless my very detailed and extensive research is incorrect, breakfast tacos are in fact a Texas thing. This is very unfortunate, because next to honey butter chicken biscuits, they are the best breakfast ever! They're also one of the few things I can actually make, and I will share the recipe so everyone can have the opportunity to enjoy the second best breakfast ever.

What you need:

• 1 Egg
• A little bit of milk (for scrambling the egg)
• Flour tortilla
• Shredded cheese
• Bacon (healthy option=turkey bacon), or ham, or sausage, or potato, or all four.

Step 1: Cook the bacon. (Or ham, or sausage, or potato.)

I cook four slices and put two in the breakfast taco and just eat the other two.

Step 2: While the bacon is cooking, scramble the egg. If you want more than one egg, you need to make another breakfast taco because only one egg will fit in the tortilla. Also, to make this step take one minute and 35 seconds, use the microwave (it works and the eggs are delicious).

Step 3: Put the scrambled egg and bacon (or ham, or sausage, or potato, or whatever) on the tortilla. Add some cheese.

Sorry about the missing piece of tortilla. I got hungry.

Step 4: Roll the tortilla!

Step 5: Eat and enjoy!